This fall, as all the kiddies stock up on binders and looseleaf, I am joining their ranks for the first time in a long time. I'm a student again! As the first week of school wraps up, I feel pleased with my decision to go for something new. It feels weird, I'm not going to lie. It's kind of like I go on vacation to a different life during the day, and then when I get home I feel disoriented and unsure of who I am. In coaching lingo, we call it Square 1. My identity has been firmly established over the last 6 years. Even though I didn't particularly enjoy being a pharmacist, it still became the cornerstone of my identity. It's what I did every day, and it felt normal. I was used to telling people about what I did for a living.
Now, that identity is dissolving. Fast. Like pouring water over sugar, it feels like it's disappearing all on its own.
Although this can leave me grasping for something sure, it is also fascinating to observe. All I can do is breathe, feel my heart beat, and know that who I am at a soul level isn't changing, just my mind's organization of my identity is. The gift in this weird transition phase is that I have a hand in creating this new identity. I get to choose how I show up here. It feels good. I am interested, I am open, and I am ready to carve out a new place for myself in the world.