Please Don't Make Me Do It

Every time I have to write something for school, I'm surprised by how hard it is. It's hard to sit down and write something good. It's hard to make myself sit down and write something that makes sense. The process involves a lot of avoidance, a lot of feeling hopeless, and then, at the very last moment, the day before something is due, it comes together. Why can't it come together sooner? Why can't I just write something good from the start? No, that's not how it works. The shitty first draft, although I fight it every single time, is compulsory. I can't write something good until I let myself write something shitty. There's just no other way.

I choose to see my creativity as not coming from me. This way I can blame someone else when something doesn't work. It also takes the pressure off of having to dig something up from inside my brain, when it seems like nothing is there. Here is one of my favourite talks about creativity, and it always makes me feel better.