Did you miss Part 1 of this series? Check it out here.
What happens when summer's over and you retire the flowing skirts and turn to your favourite pair of jeans—and they don't fit anymore?
First thing that comes to my mind: "You fatty mcfatterson. I thought we were done with this. You need to get it under control. CONTROL IT!"
Not kind words. Kindness is never my first reaction. However, because I have gone through the tight pants thing over and over an over (because guess what? Your body isn't a machine. It expands and contracts and changes shape continuously in your lifetime) I can recognize what's happening. It sometimes takes a couple of days.
Here's what's happening:
1. My mind is obsessing about how I should look because it's trying to prove the nagging sneaky devil of a belief that I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
2. Any obsessing that my mind does— needing to lose weight, get fit, find a man (this used to be my crazy brain's top tune), find my perfect career—is just an alarm bell. I have my marvellous life coach to thank for this little nugget. An alarm bell for what, you ask? It's just an alarm bell signalling that I've gotten away from centre, from the core of me, from who I really am.
Deep inside me, there's this freakish hybrid of an old wise lady and a playful, naive little girl. She sits in a rocking chair and observes me fumbling my way through life. She makes me restless when I need to play more. She strokes my hair and tells me that I'm good when I feel like I screwed up. She reminds me that I'm worthy of the biggest love. She regularly releases the valve that holds all the pressure my mind builds up for me to try to be perfect. It's so messy and I hate her for doing this, but it's so vital to me living the life I want to live.
So, if your pants are tight, here's what you could try:
1. Run your hands over all your parts and tell them they're not bad, that you accept them for how they are, even if it's just for a moment.
2. Ask your wise self to guide you back to centre, and to remind you of what's really important. Ask her what she needs from you.
3. Get some pants that fit and maybe conform to your shape, instead of you having to conform to theirs.
If I could magically take the "I need to be smaller" thought out of every single woman's (and a lot of guys too) head, I would. It's torment is ceaseless. But this one thought has taught me so much about myself and who I want to be that I can't really wish it was never there. I hope you find a way to grow beyond the torment of your devilish little thoughts as well.